First I affirm, and then the universe will confirm.”
---Rabbi Joseph Gelberman of Blessed Memory
The need to be validated and seen by others is a deep and insidious emotional wound.
It is a wound that starts in childhood when our parents and other family members invalidate our feelings, interests, and desires.
Adults say things like, “Don’t feel that way. You don’t really want that to happen. Stop acting selfish and share. Or, don’t cry, or I will give you a reason to cry.” Etc, Etc, Etc.
In the quest to socialize and domesticate children, adult authority figures frequently invalidate to force compliance and conformity.
They also enforce the reward system, often with food or toys for “acceptable behavior.”
These events create a complex traumatic reaction in a person where they will be praised, acknowledged, and especially validated (seen) by others in their lives. These rewards may include praise, acquiescence, awards, promotions, gifts, or sex.
As a child grows into adulthood, their self-esteem goes into the realm of their shadow. Unconscious shadow behaviors have become the norm. These behaviors include seduction and cajoling until the person gets the desired outcome: validation.
In the extreme, this leads to narcissistic behaviors and abusive or codependent relationships.
Reclaiming your self-esteem and self-worth can be done. It is a process that takes time and may never be fully completed. However, with each step, you will come closer to knowing your own worth and consciously acting without the need for agreement or praise.
Your life becomes much more peaceful, graceful, and joyful as you discover the power of your own self-worth.
I know this struggle very well, as it is also my own struggle. Through the help of others, I’ve been able to heal much of my internal self-esteem wounds. This has given me a greater sense of grace and joy. It also helped me with so much of the rage that I carried and my sense of entitlement.
I attribute the shadow work that I did through my participation in the ManKind Project and especially the Emotional Freedom Technique to the distance I traveled to reclaim my power.
Today, I offer the same services to my clients. After 31 years, I left the practice of medicine to follow my passion. I employ energy healing and energy psychology to help my clients process, release, and heal their emotional wounds, scars, and trauma.
I mainly utilize the Emotional Freedom Technique, augmented by hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming, past-life regression therapy, and even tarot readings, to help my clients reach their goals.
Dr. Michael is a board-certified physician who has dedicated his life to helping people live more graceful, joyful, and empowered lives through healing their past emotional wounds, scars, and trauma that hold them back.
Dr. Michael Bilkis was voted Connect Savannah’s Best Psychic in 2023.
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