Words have power. And they act like small computer programs creating a reaction in your brain. This is true whether you are speaking about yourself or to another person
There is one word in the English language that I invite you to drop from your lexicon. That word is "should."
The word "should" implies a power differential. When the word should is used, the speaker, implies that they know better than the person they are speaking to. When used in reference to ones self, the word "should" triggers shame as it implies that your not doing it "right."
I invite you to consider spelling the word should, S-H-I-T. And, then stop "shoulding" on yourself and others.